Marshall Rosenberg introduced me to the concept of a true “yes” and true “no” in Nonviolent Communication. If someone asks you to do something, and you can hear your body whisper “no”, but you hear your mouth say, “yes,” you are giving your false yes. We do this to avoid confrontation and to avoid disappointing people. Especially for women, we’re conditioned to say yes, people-please, and meet the needs of all of those around us without regard for our own personal truth. We might even be out of touch with our needs and energetic limits. Next time, try to muster up your true no. They may protest or be disappointed. Do it anyway. You don’t need to justify it (that’s just you doubting yourself). Begin the powerful practice of honoring your own truth. The surprise ending to this story is that it ends up being kinder to those around us than betraying ourselves to do whatever is asked of us.
