A friend of mine recently had a week of feeling headachey and tired. She wondered if she might have lyme disease until she realized she was accidentally drinking decaf instead of regular coffee. Meanwhile, a patient of mine had an intense uptick in anxiety & waking up in the middle of the night in a panic. The only change? An increase in caffeine consumption. Another patient was having an increase in migraines and weird vascular phenomenon. The reason? Shifting from coffee to tea.⁠

Whether you drink coffee or espresso or tea or soda, aim to keep caffeine consistent day-to-day. Same amount, same time. When you deviate, you might experience symptoms like anxiety, panic, insomnia, fatigue, headaches, or irritability. If this happens, remember to attribute it to the caffeine discrepancy, and not that everything is terrible. ⁠

Personally, I’m so exquisitely sensitive to caffeine that I decided to go 100% caffeine-free. While I miss coffee, I realized I was frequently overshooting or undershooting caffeine, and zero is a number I can achieve consistently day after day. ⁠

Last night my daughter had one of the most epic meltdowns of her life. Between failing attempts to comfort her, my husband and I exchanged mystified glances–what’s going on? Is this about coronavirus, is she feeling ignored, is she missing school and her old routine? All plausible. But then I read the ingredients on the snack she had just eaten a couple hours earlier. You know me well enough to know I didn’t buy this junk, but these days when you order a “mango” on instacart, sometimes what they bring you instead is a box of dried mango with added sugar, sulfites, preservatives, and food coloring. I don’t know who needs to hear this, but sugar, preservatives, and food coloring are a one-way-ticket to ADD, mood swings, and meltdowns. If you’re struggling with any of this (in yourselves or your kids), be on the lookout for these ingredients in your food, and swiftly chuck that crap in the trash. I don’t mean to make life any more stressful than it already is by taking away our beloved snacks and comfort foods, but in my experience, the stress of mood swings, meltdowns, and hyperactivity outweighs the stress of having to cut open a piece of fruit for a snack instead of reaching for processed garbage. When it comes to kids, offering real food helps kids stay stable and calm, rather than swinging between sugar highs and meltdowns. Orienting our lives around eating real food is not just a precious snowflake Portlandia-esque affectation–it’s a radical act of love for ourselves and our families.

Over the years, simple dietary changes have helped countless patients mend their depression, anxiety, ADHD, and bipolar. And yet, I have created a few cases of orthorexia (an obsession with eating correctly) along the way. This weighs heavily on me. On Instagram, someone recently asked what to do about the fact that she’s obsessing about meal prep and avoiding social situations to eat clean. This is the crux of the issue.

Those of us who know we feel better when we eat in a particular way can get stuck avoiding social situations that are oriented around food and obsessing about meal prep. Once you’re avoiding social engagements to eat in a way that serves your body, you’ve gone too far. Good social connection is better for your health than any amount of clean eating, so avoiding dinners with friends to eat clean is counter-therapeutic.

Solutions I’ve found in my own life: I bring a dish with me when I go to a dinner party; I’m not shy about asking to have my dietary restrictions accommodated at a dinner party (sorry for all the extra trouble friends! Please keep inviting me over), I hire a task rabbit 1-2 hours a week to help me with meal prep and cooking so it doesn’t feel like a part-time job; I steer dinners out toward restaurants I trust; when I eat at a restaurant I don’t trust, I order very simply and sometimes off menu (e.g., veggies, rice, potatoes, legumes, occasionally fish); I carry nuts and dark chocolate in my bag for emergency blood sugar crashes; and when all else fails, I just slacken the reins and eat whatever is available and remind myself that my body is strong and capable.

Rather than indulging in what’s cheap, convenient, and addictive, it serves us to reach for real food. This can become a slippery slope toward obsessive clean eating, so I want to caution you to keep it simple: eat real food, avoid fake food, listen to your body, and keep life easy and pleasurable whenever possible. Real food doesn’t mean eating only chia seeds and kale. Real food includes well-sourced, pastured meats, wild fish, carbs from starchy tubers, every vegetable ever, plentiful healthy fats (e.g., grass-fed ghee, coconut oil, avocado oil, fatty cuts of pastured meats), and eating fruit when you’re craving sweets. Even though this is not how most of us typically eat, if you want to be healthier than the average person (who suffers from chronic inflammatory conditions and mental health issues), it’s worth making counter-mainstream food choices.

If you feel like real food is too expensive (and I agree, it’s $$$), look at it this way: being sick is WAY more expensive than eating well. You pay at the farm or you pay at the pharmacy. If you’re too stretched to afford real food, consider rearranging your budget slightly so you can allocate some funds for better food. And if all else fails, real food can be as cheap as frozen veggies and a pot of rice and beans.